FYS The Fifties

After reading The Feminine Mystique we saw how many women struggled with “the problem that has no name.” Many women were getting married and having kids sooner than ever. These women were hoping for a perfect family and to be the perfect housewife. The media told them how to dress and act. They were supposed to love cleaning the house, taking care of their kids, and being with their husband, all with a big smile on their face because they really do love it. Women were realizing that this is not necessarily the case.

Betty Friedan talks about how she (and other women of the decade) was feeling a lack of fulfillment in her life. They were trying to do everything that they were told is the right thing to do. They started to realize that they weren’t feeling happy after doing it, and feeling a lack of fulfillment after doing the chores. They would feel guilty for this because they had everything that the media said they should have, so they should be happy like those women right? Women were blaming themselves for this, thinking other women were happier with their lives wondering “what kind of a woman was she if she did not feel this mysterious fulfillment waxing the kitchen floor?” (Friedan 19) Feeling “ashamed” and “hopelessly neurotic,” women were even going to psychiatrists to get help. (19)

This problem shouldn’t have been as mysterious to the women as it was, they were constantly told how to act and what to do within their own home.

A high school home economic book from the 1950’s had an essay entitled “How to be a Good Wife.” This essay teaches both genders how the perfect wife should be acting. Not only do the girls think they have to act like this when they get married, but the boys will learn to expect that out of their future wife. In my opinion, these expectations were ridiculous to ask for every day. A woman shouldn’t be expected to give all of her attention to her kids and husband while their home, and then when they’re not home she is cleaning the house until it’s spotless while cooking dinner for that night.

The main points of the expectations in the essay are: have dinner ready, prepare yourself, clear away the clutter, prepare the children, be happy to see him, make the evening his, don’t treat him with complaints and problems, make him comfortable, don’t ask him questions, and a good wife always knows her place. They were supposed to do all of these things until the arrival of their husband and then talk to him about his day. These women were expected to be perfect. After cleaning the house all day she is told to “touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in you hair and be fresh looking… Be a little gay and a little more interesting,” implying that the average women is boring and has to always looks good for her husband. To me, the most disturbing part was within the “be happy to see him” category where it says, “Let him talk first – remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.” Not only were these women expected to do everything in the house, but also what they want to talk about was considered less important compared to their husbands.

The role of women in the 50’s seems to be exhausting and unrewarding. It is understandable to see why Friedan had such strong opinions in her book. The media and even books had a huge role in shaping the stereotype that women thought they had to be.

— Alex D.